Archive for 2005

tech support vs the 1337 h4×0r

Monday, May 9th, 2005

warez kiddies always love to blame the isp. warezdeluxepalacecraphole.com is down, but every other website on the internet works fine? must be your isp. your wireless router connected 2 closed doors and a floor away is only giving you 70kB/sec downloads on kazaa lite? well hey, that’s gotta be your isp! and they always play like you’ve gotta be really dumb and straight-laced, like i’ve never heard the term warez before, or i need to have the concept of file sharing explained to me, or i don’t know what irc is. oh of course! i’ve haven’t been using all this stuff since 1996 or anything, please explain to me what efnet is! i’ve never heard of it and i need some 17 year old kid in his parents’ basement to explain it to me. what was that? you disabled your firewall and it all started working out of nowhere? no kidding, i never would have guessed. you’re telling me you rebooted your computer and now you can connect to msn fine? woah! that sure was hard! so norton has never given you a problem before, has it? there’s a first time for everything buddy. there’s a reason i’m paid to do this, and it’s not because i’m stupid. the stupidest thing i do every day is assume that just because you know how to renew your ip address without me spoonfeeding directions to you that you might have some sort of an idea of what you’re doing. guess i was wrong.

just to prove that no job is ever really finished, i updated my heracles 2 patch today.

Monday, May 2nd, 2005

it’s a pretty minor bugfix, but it also makes one of the more annoying parts of the start of the game more playable (as it was originally meant to be).

the sickening redesigned mcdonalds characters.

Sunday, April 17th, 2005

i warn you, this is horrible to look at!
who thought that that was a good idea? i mean really. ronald looks like he smokes crack. grimace looks like a junkie strung out on heroin. hamburglar looks like some sort of drug dealer wannabe. birdie is just disgusting, i can’t even think of how to describe birdie. the chicken mcnuggets? they’re horrible as well, and those fryguys are just stupid looking, they look like they were drawn by an idiot. the stupid dog looks like an animated turd more than a sundae and i feel bad for that tika kid for having to hang out with them. alright, i’m done.

shigeru miyamoto comes home

Friday, April 8th, 2005

my quote for the day

Sunday, April 3rd, 2005

i’m more upset about johnnie cochran dying than the pope. i can’t be the only one.

boogies and snot and poop and pee

Tuesday, March 22nd, 2005

i reissued the first mp3.com banana yellow album that i made (besides that 11 minute pudkuf crap, mostly because i lost that one) on cafepress.com. i’ll probably put the other 2 up sometime soon as well. of course i don’t expect anyone to buy them but hey, i’m having fun here.

hey, what’s up?

Tuesday, March 22nd, 2005

seeing as i hardly ever update this front page anymore and i update my blog (fairly) often, expect to see the two merge before too long… i know it sounds scary, but oh well, that’s life.

the infamous wilderness beast is now available on a bright disgusting yellow shirt

Sunday, March 13th, 2005

this isn’t my day

Wednesday, March 9th, 2005

so here’s a run-down of the days events so far, and it’s not even lunch time yet…

  • 3:30 AM - I wake up to a loud crashing sound. It’s storming outside. My wife asks me to check it out. I go downstairs, take a quick look around everywhere, and everything looks fine. I go back to bed.

  • 9:00 AM - Knocking on the door. I scramble to get dressed and run downstairs just to see the oil truck drive away. I call them back and they say they’ll send the guy back out. I go downstairs to the basement to get a pair of socks. Half of the basement is filled with about an inch of water. So yeah, that sucks. We start moving stuff around to make sure nothing gets ruined.
  • 10:00 AM - Oil guy comes back and we get our oil. Work calls and apparently I was supposed to be in today. I check and it looks like I’d been going by next weeks schedule by accident, so now I have to go to work. Before going to work I run to the store and try to find a mop and they’re out, so I go to another store and they only have crappy mops but I get one anyway so I can mop stuff up when I’m off.
  • 11:00 AM - I’m at work. It’s insanely busy because of the storm knocking down cable lines etc. So yeah, it’s shaping up to be a fun day.

I hope you enjoyed that, because I know I didn’t.

i wish there was just one day where people would do things the way i tell them to.

Tuesday, March 8th, 2005

when i ask you if you have a router, i do not mean your cable modem. when i tell you to unplug your router, i do not mean your cable modem. do you understand what i’m saying? for all intents and purposes, your cable modem is not a router. thank you.